i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize