I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize