he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
