Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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