cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
