I can't breathe out the right side of my face
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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