did you get engaged???
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
