How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
