He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
