we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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