tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
