she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
