I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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