that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
