How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
