At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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