I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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