her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize