I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
