if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
