i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
