My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize