ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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