sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
