So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize