I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
