yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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