i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
