Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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