I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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