Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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