Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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