My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize