Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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