My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
