Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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