Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
