Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
