Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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