Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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