i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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