I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize