Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
