i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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