so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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