it wasn't lemon gatorade
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
