and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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