I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
