Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
