I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
