I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
