You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
