Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
