spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
