I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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