i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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