$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
