Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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